paths.

Photo Credit: Victoria Nevland
Photo Credit: Victoria Nevland

Ok, dilemma #24052 of being in your twenties: WHAT THE #*%& AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE? This may actually be dilemma #1. It’s pretty much the biggest one. Ahhhhhhhhh.

I don’t have a lot to contribute to the topic that hasn’t already been said, so I guess you’ll have to do your own soul searching. If I could do it for you, I would, but only because then I wouldn’t feel bad asking you WHAT THE #*$% AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE and you might actually have an answer!

What I’ve been thinking on lately is all the paths that it would be possible to travel. It’s like I can look at my future and imagine seeing all of these different directions I could go down. I could have gone down the relationship path and been married within the next few years, and I chose a different path. But that narrowed out ONE. In like a bajillion. This is the scientific statistic.

I could start a big garden, and work on a farm, and become self-sustaining in several years, and sell produce at the farmers market and care for people’s babies on the side, and maybe write some stuff (I’m full of the specific terms today). Or I could get another direct care position with teens, get a masters, become a one-on-one counselor and eventually open a practice. Or I could get a job in retail and work my way to management. I could become a missionary and live my life in Mozambique. Or. Or. OR!!!!

My dream job is a vision that I’ve been praying on a ton for a few years, because it’s a vision way bigger than myself and feels nearly impossible right now. I don’t know where to start whatsoever. Because of this seemingly impossible nature, I have a feeling God may have put this vision in my heart. He tends to ask us to do things that are absolutely crazy and then come through completely, then look at you and be like, See? I told you we could do it, kid. I just wanted you to trust me so I could show you how freaking amazing it can be.

But what is the pre-conceived career path to a leadership position at something that doesn’t exist? The guidance counselors never mentioned that possibility.

I have an interview on Monday for a job in Haiti. A huge part of me really wants it. Like really bad. The other part of me is fighting that because I had a plan, and the plan did not include leaving the country for any amount of time. It would upset my parents. I wouldn’t earn any money. It’s unorthodox.

Why do we strive for orthodox so often? I fight that tendency so much and the second I think I’m doing good, following my own journey, comfy with taking time to figure things out…..BAM I’m fighting my instinct toward the comfort zone for the umpteenth time. SHOOT.

This post is all over the place because I’M all over the place right now.

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3 thoughts on “paths.

  1. It’s marvelous to have so many options. When trying to choose, the wise advice I recently heard may help: don’t go THERE let THERE come to you. You’re already on the path, you just have to relax with the flow of least resistance, not force anything and your inner guidance system will show you more clearly the path and what steps to take next. Sometimes you get just one or a few steps at a time. So don’t freak out by futurizing. Good luck, young one, and have fun! Keep us posted on your adventures, I enjoy them!

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  2. Ugh, I’m in the same boat! I have so many different paths I could take, all leading to things I think I’d be happy with, but which one to go for, I don’t know. Good luck to you!

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